Monday, October 31, 2005


I went to this party last night my friends band was playing there. They sounded good for there first concert, some stuff @ the party was fu <k 3d up though. i think i pis sed Katie off 2 last night sry!!! i was pis sed @ the world i get like that sometimes u still want those cupons for the mall?? lol :p yeah first part of college starts the 22nd ugg school... i dunno y im not 2 excited about this but whatever school is school. im trying to start a band i have songs written i just need a drumset and others in it. rave is on vaycation in florida U S UCK!!!!!! CAT POO... welll some one comment on this stuff i would like 2 read what people have 2 say it would be nice. and i almost forgot hi heather yeah she is a vegitables person ( doesnt eat meat) shes pretty cool nick introed me 2 her l8t_RCOOKSeY

Sunday, October 30, 2005

i almosted died

2day my sister was driven and then this guy in this huge truck was speedin sooooooooo fast and he didnt stop at the stop sign to we were almosted t-boned but thank god my sister swerved it was soooooooo... scary!?!?!?!?

Saturday, October 29, 2005


Tonya, the brightest color in your aura is White Contrary to popular myth, auras are actually multi-colored energy fields that can be divided into seven primary layers. Having White as your brightest color means that the seventh layer of your aura is the most vibrant. You have an exceptional love for life, which stems from your deep connection to the universe. You're an open channel of energy from the universe, and this infuses your aura with a divine energy. Where a bright layer of your aura expresses strength in a certain area of your life, a dull layer can indicate weakness or illness.

Can't get away from Special Ed. :-)

At my school there are a couple special ed. kids that I have been hanging out with since I came last year. As a teacher youre not supposed to have a favorite student, just like parents arent supposed to have a favorite child. But just as I am my parents favorite daughter, of course I also have favorite students. My favorite special ed. kid is Nao. Hes 13 and doesnt talk. Communicating with him is always very interesting. When I first got here he wouldnt answer any of my questions, so I was a little discouraged, but as he has gotten to know me better, he usually responds to my questions. Of course they can only really be yes or no questions, so I have to do a lot of guessing until he finally nods his head yes or no. When he tilts his head sideways, it means that theres no clear yes or no answer. Anyway, recently I decided to try a little English practice with him. So I made up cute little yes and no cards for him to point to. Then I started asking him simple questions like Are you Nao? But he didnt want to pint to the cards. Im sure he understood the question, but I said it in Japanese too just in case. Then I took his hand and put it on the yes card. Then I asked him again, but he still wouldnt answer. I asked him if he was embarrassed, if he didnt want to do it, but he didnt respond, so I decided to give up for the day. I was a little disappointed. I thought that with no one else in the room he would be more willing to open up to me and stuff. I think I even cried a little. The other day, tho, I decided to try it again with a different attitude. I went with the confidence that he could do it and would do it, instead of not really believing that he would. First I showed him some picture cards and said them in English. Then I told him to mouth the words back to me, which he kinda did. Then I put the cards on his desk and told him to point to the word I said. I started with one he knew for sure. Of course he would not point to it. I kept saying the word, I moved his hand to the card, and kept saying the word. Finally I said Nao, I have plenty of time to wait. My next 2 periods are free (which was true), so I can wait, no problem! So I kept saying the same word, over and over. Finally he got tired of me or something because he pointed to the word!! I was so happy that tears came to my eyes! But I kept saying different words. He pointed to the right words. That was a great feeling! I went on to ask more yes or no questions, which he also answered! The next day I was in the special ed room too and the teacher and another student were there and the teacher out of nowhere asked how to say mouse in English. The other student know, but I was like, Nao knows because we just went over mouse yesterday. And I looked over and he was mouthing mouse with his lips! Im so proud of him!! Usually we just play games like ping pong and badminton, which is really fun because then I get to see him laugh and sometimes he even makes little noises, like when I accidentally hit the birdie into his chest really fast or something. But I wanted to try to help him get interested in English too. I hope that Ill be able to hear him talk by the time I leave!! In either English OR Japanese.

Friday, October 28, 2005

My Friend, My Love

It began as all fires do,a spark soon ignited into a blaze of warmth and colourful delight.You held my hand, became my friend,earned my trust and my future once again looked bright.Loneliness turned to hope,emptiness filled up with dreams.Hunger was satisfied, and the darkness lit by love's moonbeams.Tears no longer hit the ground,they fall on your loving shoulder.I feel younger,as our love grows older.When sorrow leaves me wilted as a sun-parched rose,your comfort is a river that flows and flows.The sun's light, the morning dew,they are all the beauty that is you.When passion ebbs,as tides do,love fills the wake,and carries us through.Your strength is as the oak,but if it is my need you bend like the willow.My heart is filled,like a lucky sail with wind to billow.Harsh cold winters,wet springs, blissful summer heat, and the fall of time,They'll weather my spirit,with grace and peace, your hand in mine.Our love's sweet creations, joyous children,blessed am I thanks to God and you.What greater beauty could shed light,on the love that came from two.Love's sweet reflection,laughing, growing, thriving, learning.Words cannot express what my heart feels,how strong my love is burning.When God took one home,I felt my heart would never again see the sun.But you, my love, walked with me, through the sadness,and together we share the memories that keep our family one.The lines of age will etch their mark on usand time will take the strength from our bodies.But love's brush will paint for us a picture of such beauty,That a hundred lifetimes could not remove their glory.- K. Brook - --Posted by Juan, for the love of my life.

Running aka Wasting Precious Life

ok, check this shit out. i have spent close to 9 months of my life in a season of some kind this past year. it went cross country, indoor track, then outdoor track. if you take the practices that i do, and avg them out time wise, they would probably come close to about 2hrs of practice a day. take that and say its 6 days a week, because i practice mon-fri, then have a meet on saturday, and then cheat and take sunday off while everybody else is running lol. so take those two hours, multiply them by 6 for the days in the week i run, multiply that number by 4 for the number of weeks in amonth, and then multiply that number by 9 for the months i am in season. so the equation is 2x6x4x9 = 432. thats 432 hours of my life i spent running basically, such a waste! take that number and divide it by 24 for the hours a day is long, and you got the number 18. that is 18 full days worth, of running. i've wasted the equivalent to 18 days of my life lol. down with running!! obesity rules! k, my metabolism is ridiculous, thats the only way i can say that without regret lol. not to mention i have an eating disorder, but thats for another time. the moral of the story kids, go out and run. i'll be damned if you ever do shit worth doing on any of those 18 days anyhow.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


hey guys im better... if u read my last blog.... well its all good!! im gunna go to wylie tomorrow w/ kayli cory and coby (donno if hes goin).... so that will be fun... i went to kayli's house today it was fun!! sandi (kayli's dog) scares me!!! well i guess that all call me!!! LEAVE A COMMENT PLEASSE!!!!! my b-day is in 2 days!!!!!!!! Wylie (mary)

so sick

well today was not a good day me and my dad got into it i went to the doctor he told me i have bronchitis my man took care of me all day long we went to wal mart today lookin at rings well i catch u guys later i love u aba

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Look What You've Done

-"Ohhhh, look what you've done. You are the remedy. I'm dying of a broken heart...." -Brooke Valentine, Dying of A Broken Heart. I just had to put that as my beginning. That's songs nice. If anyone wants to know a good love song, that's something to place in your IPOD. Prom is in a week, and I can't wait. I still haven't bought my ticket yet though... lol I have my dress! Just not the ticket. Pray for me por favor. I need an "A" or a "B" on that math test I took today.... I need to pass math! I haven't used the phone in a long time...... someone call me :( My world is upside down right now....I hope someone smacks me so I can see up-right again. Ohh! And here is a list of a few good songs to download: 1. Mira Mira by Tweaponz ft. Pitbull (Real hot Reggaeton Jungle beat) 2. Bakit by Gloc 9 (Its in tagalog, so you prob. won't understand it) 3. Hinahanp Ng Puso by Gloc 9 (Tagalog again) 4. Sweet Love by 112 (Slow song, real nice) 5. Mirame by Daddy Yankee (Nice Reggaeton and Indian Beat) 6. Almost Doesn't Count by Brandy (Old song, but still good) 7. I Wonder by Pitbull (Real nice rep song) 8. Sway by Pussycat Dolls (Old song with a new Las Vegas up-beat) Hope yall enjoy those tunes, I know I do. Catch ya laterz!


SWOTconsultingconsultantSWOT consultingPPTSWOTBULLSHIT SWOT Topicinternship Strength TVB PPT Weakness call OpportunityHC&HC Threat level ...... SWOT= BULLSHIT Conclusion: There is alway dilemma in life, what I should do is just follow my heart.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Treasure ur gal...

Treasure ur gal... Message: Message: This is really sad. If youhave problemsinyourrelationships, try and fix them. Dont pretend itsokay. Dont push your girls away, they areeverything to you. Maybe the best thing for you.Listen to them, Treat them like princesses, go outof your way once and a while for them, take careof them when they are sad, and dont let go.Girl: hey baby i want to show you....Boy: ( cutting her off ) ugh i'm so madGirl: why? whats wrong ?Boy: ugh everythingGirl: explain babyBoy: just lost a championship game,parents flipped out on me for no reason,and im catching a coldGirl: well hey there will always be other games,you know ill take care of you when your sick,what your parents flip about ?Boy: they are making me pay them for a car repairGirl: is it alot of moneyBoy: no it just sucksBoy: but hey i dont feel well im going to go laydownBoy: byeGirl: wait i want to give you some...Boy: cant it wait til tommorow ?Girl: yeah sureGirl: byeBoy: bye2 hours later a friend of hers asks her to go fora drive ...she goes.....her friend swerved to avoid a truck....hitting atree insteadher friend was killed instantly....shes incritical conditionThis is the conversation between her sister andher boyfriendSister: omg ( crying )Boy: what? whats wrong ?Sister: my sister...your gf was involved in amajor car wreckBoy: is she ok ? ?????Sister: shes in critical conditionBoy: i'll be there in 10 minutesHe shows up to the hospital room ...standingoutside the doorgoing over the last conversation in his mind overand over as heheard the machines beep and beep and breathingtubes pumpBoy: she wanted to give me something or tell mesomethingGirls mom: yeah was an envelope smelling like she did sealedwith a kiss in lipstickhe opened said ..... your everything to me....i love youwith everything i amand everything i have...i want to spend the restof my life with yousealed in it was a ripped movie ticket from thefirst movie they went toand the first picture they took togetherhe kissed the picture as a tear fell from his faceonto the pictureit looked as if in the picture she was cryingthen the machines flatlined....3 minutes later shewas pronounced dead...

..chapstick and chapped lips and things like chemistry..

I'm home! Everybody miss me? Gee, I hope so. So Atlanta rocked hardcore. But getting home was a bit of an issue. Weather delayed my flight Monday, I was stuck another night. Then traffic got in the way of my first flight today, got switched to Minneapolis, my flight there was delayed. Oh-well, I eventually did get home around 1 AM tonight. Let's see, what did I do in ATL? I went to the Hard Rock Cafe, and the Martin Luther King Jr. Center. Saw a movie (yea, you can do that in Iowa), went shopping in this kick ass neighborhood where my sister lives, saw Switchfoot, got a henna tattoo, went toa Japanese steak house (the ones where they throw your food in the air and play with knives) It was fun. It was good to see Matt and Anne and I have never talked so much with Rob before. That was cool. And Leta and I had lots of fun watching hours of Felicity! Um, yeah. That is all. For the first time I have somthing semi interesting to write about but I don't feel like writing. Maybe because its after 2 am. Perhaps I"ll write tomorrow. Mucho amor emily rose

Monday, October 24, 2005

friday night

Well, today was an interesting one. i actually went to all my doctors appts. I also went to viney's, and DewHill. Kelly came and picked me up today and we were hanging out for awhile with random people, and then I was with Alisha. I love Alisha. We went out for icecream before she went to work. kelly tried calling her after but noone picked up. I'll post pictures of us on here later. Kelly later on ditched me at a party and I almost didn't have a ride home bcwhen she did come back she had a car full. SOme guy named Matt gave me a ride home. I talked to Corey tonight and the reason he broke up with me is bc he's not ready. He's appearantly trying to figure hislife out right now and just went into "hiding." WHy couldn't he have just told me that? Am I the only honest person around here? Geez. Java Jr's called back and he wants me to call him ASAP! Yay! I want to bring in photo's as well! We'll see. Maybe I'lljust give him the disk with all my photos on it..Who knows..But look in June 21 for my aswesome photography..Well, I like it so, maybe you won't. but thats cool. taters!

Work Smurk

I am so not wanting to work and I am so behind. What is wrong with me? I just get so overloaded, I stop working. Then I get further behind. Even now, I'm not really working. The phone is ringing and I don't care. Everything is so crazy.....AGHHHH. Nobody knows what's going on. EVER!!!!! Or maybe I just don't....well, I think I will attempt to try working....

Sunday, October 23, 2005

crossing my fingers!

last weekend was good. i finally just got to chill for once cus i didnt have a vball tournament. instead i went to virginia for andy and laura oberstar's grad parties. they were really fun. even though i didnt get to see laura! but i did get to see preston!!! which i was very excited about! lol! hey bud u r looking better than ever! still a 10 on my list! or 10.5! haha lol! well im keeping my fingers crossed so i can hopefully go to virginia thursday and visit everyone!! it will be sweet! so everyone there keep ur fingers crossed too and i hope i will see u all thursday night!

A Pity Teacher

today when we having moral period.. our teacher.. pn francis tell us tat.. i hate afrika penguin.. who is tat.. now i only noe is mr.ravindran.. pn francis tell tat when she going to england.. mr.ravindran going to ganti her.. we all shout.. HAAAA.. really omg loh.. need face him on bm period den need face him when moral period too.. aiyo yo yo.. cham loo tis time.. really hate tat afrika penguin la.. pn.francis oso sclod him 'so xxx'.. haha..den suddenly shih ling ask teacher.. y go england.. den she tell us something.. we all oso veli shock.. actually her son cannot talk.. she go england is bcoz his son.. coz she take a course tat is how to teach cannot talk studentbelajar..add upusually she oso got teach other student tat cannot talk.. haihz dun c she alway tell us funny story.. actually she is a pity mother n teacher..

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Farewell to all....(in a way)

Hello to All, Today will be the last time that I will be posting notifications about my blog updates. I write in my blog to record down what I think and how I feel, and I don't understand why everyone would be so willing toread all that blah. I don't feel that I have a right to add another annoying flushing orange sun/flower/star (whatever you call it) on the MSN window. So if you really care about how I feel or what I've done, just drop by my blog and have a look...otherwise, I won't occupy your attention anymore! :D My blog is at

Feeling Hella Good!!

Once upon a time, there was a crazed Professor Ber. She decided to mix happiness, wealth, and just a little stealth to make a pack of perfect happy, sappy, rich, ninja warriors. Unfortunately, she accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction... EXTRACT OF MASHED POTATO!! And **b0oF!** it becameCOCO CRUNCH BEAR!! CocoCrunch Bear roamed the world, turning wheatfields into into tiny chocolatey, biscuity thingys. Children all over the world ate these thingies for breakfast. And thus, Coco Crunch Bear TOOK OVER THE UNIVERSE!..ity.... I'm so happy, so fricking happy!! And its for no reason!! Gone for today are my gothic poetry and my sad views of life! Hello soup, smiles, sunflowers and whatever else begins with S!! ** The littlest elf romped around one day, looking for someone to play. The littlest elf skipped down the path felling so happy and GAY! The littlest elf, though he didn't stand high, was actually notvery tall, in fact, he was really small. The littlest elf went to save the world from the attack of the Coco Crunch Bear. He died in attempt Because he forgot about his lactose-intolerent hair. And that my dears, is the story of an elf, and a moral is due. Don't save the world if you're smaller that 3 foot 2.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Road Trip !

Well im gonna go to Kuala Lumpur 2morrow and btw i moved to malaysia, but im originally from florida (lol just wanted to clear that outif u didnt know) The tallest building in the worldis in kuala lumpur and thats ur geography lesson for today lol Today is the start of a one week vacation yay ! ^_^


hey everybody, I leave for Wayne state in 3 days. I wish that people would just let me have a NORMAL relationship with Shawn. Seriously, there is so much drama going on that i am just SICK of it. I am thisclose to just saying fuck it you can date who you want, if it's me great, if it's not me, well, i would be devastated but it's hard to say who he wants these days. People say it's me, people say it's someone else. I know on his space it says that about his girlfriend (me) and how he never wants to leave me,but he has all these girl friends. I know i may appear jealous,but he says that's a sign that he's going to leave me: Having lots of girls over at his house and him hanging out with a bunch of girls. I'm confused. He always is talking with girls or whatever. I love him I don't know why he insists on "looking" i know it's a guy thing. But it's a guy thing that remains a mystery to me. IT doesn't hurt any less. I have been worried sick, literally worried sick, that when i'm in college there are going to be all of those girls coming out of the woodwork and theyr'e going to supposedly "see me" with some douche bag of a guy, and it's going to cause all sorts of problems with shawn. I am worried sick, ( i have gotten sick a couple of times today) about this subject. I just want him to love me. Thats all that im asking. is for him to love me. Dana

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Madden 06 Franchise: Year 1 - Week 1

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers opened the season with a 41-35 victory over the Minnesota Vikings in Madden 06 franchise action. The host Vikings jumped out to an early 14-0 lead before Tampa recovered to take a commanding 38-14 lead going into the half. Some poor tackiling and long scores allowed Minnesota to crawl back into the game in the second half, but the Buc defense held strong on the las Minnesota offensive series with 2 sacks before picking D. Culpepper off to seal the victory. Offensive leaders were B. Griese going 14 for 17 with 252 yards and 4 TD's; C. Williams had 26 rushes fro 66 yards, 1 TD, and 1 catch for 24 yards; J. Galloway had 4 receptions for 78 yards; M. Alstott and I. Hilliard each added 2 receiving TD's. Defensive leaders were B. Kelly with 4 tackles and 2 interceptions; and A. McFarland with 3 sacks. Next up for Tampa is the home opener against the Buffalo Bills. The new NFC South standings look like this: New Orleans 1-0 Tampa Bay 1-0 Atlanta 0-1 Carolina 0-1

Chain of Memories

I finally got a job. Started today. It surprised me quite a bit, seeing as how I didn't know it until about eight-thirty this morning. I work at my dad's place of employment now, and it is all right despite being temporary, seeing as how I am leaving for college in two weeks. The work isn't so bad. I only spent seven hours sweeping the floor. My dad sells and services pressure washers, and the back garage where most of their stuff is stored is really dusty. Not to mention that it probably hasn't been swept like that in six months. If at all. But I did my best, and would like to think that I've improved things, even if the job isn't finished. Its almost all swept, but no quite. When I was sweeping, in a brief moment when there was no other people around, I started whistling. I do that occaisionally, when no one is there to listen. But the song surprised me. I hadn't listened to it recently. So I stopped whistling, and sounded out the few bars that I could remember in my head, trying to place exactly where I had learned it. I picked up more and more, slowly working on it, and it hit me. It was one of the concert songs from my time in Jr.High band. I wish that I could actually remember it all as we played it, and feel a bit dissapointed in myself that I couldn't remember it all despite the hours upon hours of practicing. I mean rehearsing, as I didn't do all that much practicing on my own. Band was fun, especially because I changed instrument in the seventh grade from alto saxophone to tenor, changing from a section of nine to a section of one. That year for the christmas concert we played this one composition which was the Pink Panther and the Flinstones, and I was perfectly positioned as the only one with the part of the panther's melody. Yay for a solo. But I have to ask myself why I remembered this song. It really came from nowhere. The stuff about the concert and playing Pink Panther makes sense, it came from remembering on the line of the song, but why did I remember the song in the first place? One way to look at memories is that they are links in a chain, and you follow one to another to another, and soon you discover something that yoiu didn't realize that you knew, something surprising, a hidden item in a dark corner of your mind. But I don't think that the mind works that way. A chain is a good and strong collaboration of parts. You can do alot with a chain. With a chain of memories, obviiously not every link is equal but strong links can hold up weak ones, and insignificant details can be unearthed by the major ones. This linear connection also follows the passage of time, so it could be considered that recent events which are still fresh in the mind anchor the older ones, keeping them stored and safe. But for recollection it is insufficent. In order to get at vital memories of days long past one would have to work from present back, taking time despite the speed of synapses. Also, some things aren't memories at all; an example is a mathematical equation area equal pi r squared. You didn't experience this, yet I'm sure you remember learning it. It isn't a memory, but it is stored in your brain. And while everything that is remembered is linked to something, it is linked to several memories but not all memories. It is more of a web, the center of which is the present, what you are learning and experiencing now. Instead of the present anchoring the past, the past holds up the present. And while one thing leads to the remembering of another, it is not the only path of remembering. In Physiology we learned the difference between shrot and long term memory, how everything is stored first in the limbic system, a crescent shaped area of the inner brain, and it decides what gets moved to the cerebrum for long term storage. The limbic system also being the seat of emotion, emotionally powerful memories get tied down first, stored in the gray mass to be recalled instantly for years to come. That one battle of the World War II, though, that one that you know is so important but always forgot, even on the day of the tesy despite pulling an all nighter, wasn't emotionally powerful enough to get stored. The limbic system is also the primal part of the brain. The one thing that a baby knows when it comes out of its mother's womb is how his mother smells, and nothing else. This is the base from which it learns everything else, starting with how she looks and sounds, then to other things and people. Smells elicit emotions while bypassing the thinking parts of the brain. You smell smoke and you fell the danger before you think 'fire'. This emotional response is what has led to those deoderant commercials to say what they have said, that smell is the strongest sense tied to memory. And this is why. But this just helps proove my web thoughts. The first thing that you know, the anchor to which everything else is tied to, is how your mother smells. From that you have the basis for everything else, even that battle from history class is tied to it. From one strong anchor you eventually get another, be it your sixth birthday where all of your friends were there and you recieved all of the presents you asked for, or it was that time when you were twelve and fell out of that tree and broke your arm, or that first date, or your first breakup. These emotionally charged events are ingrained upon the inside of your skull and cannot be removed; the extreme of both the good and the bad are with you until you die. Tied onto these events are the times that aren't so emotional, and tied to that are those facts that you had to memorize. Everything tied to each other, always there despite the darkness of the time spent without the conscious effort of remembering. You haven't forgotten them, you just haven't remembered them yet. Or at least most things are that way. The web does break, or rather some things didn't get attatched strong enough. You may remember what you had to eat for breakfast this morning, but do you remember what you ate last tuesday morning? Or dinner on May 5, 1994? This may seem meaningless, but if you can remember what you ate this morning, and its just as meaningless as every other time, then why do you remember it? The beauty of short term memory. All the everyday crap that you can drop into nothing without weighing down your mind. Some things don't need to be remembered. Some things aren't remembered. Other things you want to forget. Hopefully I will begin to forget a few things. Already the past, my life during high school, seems like it happened to someone else. I know that there will people at college that I had frequent interaction with in the past, but I almost hope to not see them, or if I do that they just ignore me. It happens already, friends from years past just looking past me in the halls. Or looked, now. I don't frequent many halls anymore. Some things won't leave, I know, but I hope to just bury them in new things. I'm not thinking about any particular memories, or any particular person. Just everyone. Already it is starting to become easy, the loosing of old ties. Hopefully there will be new people to replace them with, people that I won't want to forget. My dad delivered my housing contract today. It is about two months too late, and I won't be getting into the hall that I want, as I have been informed that it is already full. Instead I get to go pot-luck fora lesser dorm. Well, lesser in my mind, but I don't really deserve to be living with smart people anyways. I don't belong there. But I will sign up to take an opening as soon as one comes in. But, with the couple hundered that I will make in these last two weeks and the little bit that I have saved up, I will be able to buy most of a new computer. My dad is going to help me out, but I'm going to pay him back as much as I can. Another thought, just came to me. It might be related, but maybe not. I started dreaming again.I guess we dream every night, but I usually don't remember them when I wake up. Until recently. It is strange, and there is no real reason for it. The situations are always far out, but there is always someone that I know in it, also just playing their part. Which is usually themself. No, not always the same person, and not even the person that I would think that I would dream about. Only once, for them, of the few. Why do we dream? Why do I dream? Sometimes the story gets out of hand, so I stop it. Once I had this dream, a good while ago, where it started out all right but slowly grew stranger, so I started to fix it. As I corrected it, made it considerably better one thing at a time, I noticed that I was waking up. I wouldn't say that I was becoming conscious, for in order to fix a dream one must be conscious, even if one is asleep. But I didn't want to wake up yet, so I let the dream go, and it became weird again, but at least I was asleep. It wasn't so bad, really, I just thought that I could do a better job at it. But, in most of the dreams there is either a person that I know, or it is a circumstance that I have experienced. Why is this? Are my dreams tapping into my memory, temporarily tying together unrelated threads to create something alltogether different? I will go ponder this some more, as I try to sleep. Still, I do not think that I fall asleep, and that instead I only wake up from one dream into another. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


I guess the winter makes you laught a little slower makes you talk a little slower about things you couldn't show him mamybe this year will be better than the last year I can't remember all those times I tried to tell myself to hold on to this moments as they pass ... I must have read a thousand poems in that time trying to find myself in all those words I used to know everything about who I was But what is that? When you don't even know what or who you'll become And if everything were to change? What goodis there in knowing who you are?


Zo, zit ik lekker LL Cool J's "mama saidknock u out" te luisteren en ik dacht..KOMAAN laat ik me 'ns vergezellen op mijn eigen webspace alwaar ge kunt genieten van menig plezant fotografisch gekunstel van mijzelf ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Duss....... Ik ben namelijk zooooooo blij dat iedereen mijn webspace zo vaak bezoekt...Niet te enige trouwe visitor is dhr. G. te A-ad-R. Of durven jullie gewoon niet?! Geef dan is wat tips, en wel goede tips bitte.. niet van die zwartgallig getinte humorloze opmerkingen als: haal je eigen foto's er dan af, verzin is een leuke naam voor je space etc, enz, cq etc. Hou dan je mond maar! Wat willen jullie nou? WAT WAT WAT?!?!?!? Zal ik zeggen wat? weet je wat? Zal ik het zeggen, zal ik het zeggen?....pfff, laat maar...wordt al moe van mn eiguh gezwam.. Peace y'all

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

on the brighter side....

on the brighter side of things I hung out with my little sister Tiffany all day and then tonight i went shopping,to dinner and a movie with a friend. we went to see deuce bigalo the make jigalo----pretty much the most stupid movie i have ever seen. But it was ok cuz i got to hang out with a buddy i haven't hung out with in a while. Then to top it off tons of people called to "show me some love" today. Pretty much everyone that loves me called me :) and for the first time in a long time they were all super swell conversations I got these new silver shoes and silver belt so you can all be jealous cuz i look super hot in the outfit. my friend was like "whoa shannon you are super sexy in that gear" so yup as he said i am super sexy so you better watch out. hmm.......well i wore my JEM t-shirt today----you know that cartoon show about the 4 rocker band girls that played on tv when we were little (i used to pretend i was the one with the blue hair) well i got like 30 compliments on my shirt and it made me very happy :) :):):):):) ok well me and my buddy are going to go walk through the park at about 3:30 in the am (right now) so i gots to go.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Regular Season Stats

Ugh...30 games later and still going. I had a great time playing this season, and always with the most awesome teammates anyone could ever have. You are the best! I also want to thank all of our fans and everyone who has supported us, not only these past four months but every single year. Win or lose, you are always there to cheer us on. Thank you so much! Standings: 19 Wins - 11 Losses Division: 8 Wins - 6 Losses Conference:11 Wins - 5 Losses Ranking: 3rd Longest Winning Streak: 5 Longest Losing Streak: 4 Personal Stats Games Played:112 Kills (K):644 Errors (E): 44 Attempts (TA): 1431 H%: .419 Kills/Game: 5.75 Assists (A): 18 Assists/Game: .167 Blocks: 25 Blocks/Game: .223 Ranking: 11th


alright so its early monday morning. i woke up at 530 and couldned sleep at around 650ish i got up and did my hair and all that junk. then i made sure i had everythign in my bags. and yah so its baout 8 10 rihgt now and im really nervous about this camp i mean sure it might be fun and stuff and im excited but like idk what if they are all really good and like i suck. or maybe it will be really fun.. idk but i hope i make some friends! i will update you when i get home saturday..(well friday night but i wont be online.)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

My Favorite Things:)

My Favorite Stuff * Hangin out with my buddies * Music * Guitars ! * RAIN !!!!! * Tennis :) * Hot Chocolate * Taco * Taco's in a bag * Ag day's *Sitting on roof's * Sitting alone anywhere high up ( top of stadium ect..) * Church ! * God of course :) * Scary movies * Stupid Movies * Water ballon fights * OLD PEOPLE !!!!! THEY ROCK MY SOCKS OFF !!!:D:D:D:D * Lil kids, as long as they dont make me wanna beat them much * Mandrin Oranges...expecially when Im usin an orange fork * Spy music ( weird I know) * Bright Colors *Fall !!:D:D * Getting so incredibly lost in the ghettos of Mt.Vernon.. (lol Chels) * Running.. although not so much with large amounts of ppl * CSI ! * Corrupted television ( aka Degrassi shhh) * Swimming in my clothes... I havent worn my suit in forever * When school just starts * Band ( That's right, I'm a band geek and proud of it ! ) *To be continued... mainly because im half alseap and drooling

^_^ SNOO...

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Saturday, October 15, 2005


It was a rainy day at my condo,makes one sleepy. Was watchiing TV,talk show bout obesity and a local Malay movie. The part about the movie, the talk shrow host invited the promoter for the movie and had some teasers. The movie is about a couple, a moslem grl and a chinese boy, the promoter claimed is not entirely about the no--no from family but more towards their own feeling dealing with their situation.


I can't tell you how sick and tired of the glitches there are with this MSN spaces! I go to post an entry and it disappears. I go to post a comment and it post's it twice!!!! GRRRRR! But I'm not gonna let it bug me. I'm going on vacation tomorrow. I was supposed to go toVegas but Missy couldn't get her shit together.And she tells me last night that it's back on. Like I'm supposed be all happy that she can go now. Because for me it's now too expensive for me to fly because it's like 400 and with me moving in a couple of weeks it's just not smart. If I could have bought mine like2 weeks ago when I wanted to I could have gotten mine for like 236. and that would have been fine but now I'm notgoing it's the mature resposible thing to do.So I'll be hanging around all week with nothing to do. Well Kozy has already offered to try and entertain me. I may try and hit the ocean for a few days. I guess we'll see. I'm not sure I want to go alone but I don't really want to take anyone else with me. I guess we'll see. So I know your all dying to know what I did this weekend. I broke tradition. Well kinda. I didn't shoot in the tournament on Friday like I normally do instead I went to Kozy and big suprise.... drank. Ok so He had some friends over and all but one of them left before I got there. So it was Justin Kozy and I. We were drinking watiching a movie A Dirty Shame. It is really weird kinda kinky but dumb. I'm not sure I would even say go rent it. So were drinking, it's getting late and I'm getting pretty drunk. So Kozy takes me off to bed. Justin has duty at like 530 any way. And it's about 1. Atleast that's what timeI think it was.So I guess when Kozy and I got to his room wewere so preoccupied that we forgot to close his bedroom window.Oops! I guess his apartment manager came by whileJustinwas on the porch having a smoke and asked asked him to tell us to keep it down.Well he never told us. So the next morning when Kozy was taking out the garbage his neighbor stopped him. The conversation as follows Neighbor: My wife wanted to ask you how you made her scream like that? Kozy: I don't know I was just doing my thing. Maybe your wife should talk to her. When Kozy told me this I was crackin up. I mean I didn't think it was that loud but I guess it was. So yep that was it. Saturday was boring I did how ever find out that bright blue panties will show through khaki capri's so you will either have to wear jeans or you will have to go comando.Thiswas ahistoric moment for me. I went comando. It was very liberatingnow I know why Missy does it all the time. I was quite impressed with my self that I went a whole day with no panties. YayMe! Now I'm not saying I would do it all the time because I think taking off clothesisvery sexy, but Ican see myself doing it more often in the future. Saturday night Iwent to Dani and Jared's had dinner with them and Saul and Monica. Dan called to see if every thing was cool cuz I didn't go to Danny's on Friday. Sunday I hung out at Terri's and stuff. Missy Monica and I played league last night. We won!!!! We finnally beat Angi's team. No one else had. Kozy came to watch. Ok so Ryan is seriously pissing me off. I cannot belive he is acting like he is. So I have his gift but he's mad because I haven't gotten to to him. He says that no one cares because on one got him a gift. Well I'm sorry but I would have rather had him come to my b-day than him go to a U2 concert. Yes he got me a gift and I have his gift but the last time he came over I was not in my right mind. Seriously a cat had just died in my arms!!!! I wasn't thinking about his stupid gift. Oh well he's stupid. And I'm spent! Top Ten Amish Spring Break Activities 10. Drink molasses until you heave.9. Attend a wet bonnet contest.8. Tear a page out of the room directory and totally trash it.7. Throw a "Key of Buttermilk Party".6. Blow past the Dairy Queen on a really hot Clydesdale.5. Get a tattoo that says: "Born to Raise Barns."4. Dare to wear a see-through smock to bed.3. Sleep in until 6:00 a.m.2. Cop a glance, behind a checkout counter, of the front cover of aPlayboy magazine.1. Churn butter naked.

Friday, October 14, 2005

$@m3 $h!t, D!ff3r3nt D@y

well today wanst such a good day as others, at work the other day my back was in pain, and lifting heavy boxes didnt help much. go figure. so i stayed home and basicly just rested all day T.T i could do anything not till teh pain medication kicked in. then i was up and walking around but i didnt leave home. nothign much happend either i got so bored i took a nap at around 7pm and woke up at 9pm. god my lifes boring...

coming down

so i was realli annoyed a while ago cuz i realized i had to wait yet another day b4 i could get my phone but now that i can sit back and think the day has been pretty good i had the perfect beginning starting w/ the phone call and then the perfect ending w/ that lil msg from my lil frnd who always manages to put a smile on my face =)

Thursday, October 13, 2005

lonely flower

Lonely Flower Little Flower why do you look sad Life for you cannot be that bad But I guess in a way you are just like me Grounded to this earth and never free All alone you sit and you seem to cower You droop more and more every hour I suppose all things living have their ups and downs But our bodies shake it off with a frown When I look at you I can see tears But why do you cry you have no fears Is it because you feel all alone in this vast place? Even when you look around there never seems to be a friendly faceYes little flower I feel this way to But theres really nothing I can doWe will both have to get on with the life that we lead Just like every growing seedSo little flower wipe those tears from your eyes Theres really no need for you to cryI left the flower all alone outside Tomorrow I will see the puddle she has cried When I looked out of my window the next day The sad little flower seemed to have gone away

Chester ~ Northwich ~ Llangollen ~ Wrexham ~ Jodrell Bank

August 21: Sunday Returned to Chester, which I'd visited months before, simply having lunch and a stroll on the city walls. En route to our hotel in Northwich, we visited Beeston Castle in North Cheshire. Sited atop a crag, and overlooking 8 counties, it's a truly spectacular outing (and very fine picnic spot). Starting life as a hill-fort in the Bronze Age, some 4000yrs ago, it has been redeveloped time and again. For the distance, I'm reminded of one of theMayan pyramids at Tikal in Guatemala that I'd visited in 2000: centuries of growth had covered all but the very tips of these structures. Beeston's fort is actually perched on top but is very overgrown and ferny within its walls. From the top you can see Chester, Liverpool and the Pennines. The Floatel at Northwich turned out to be a bit of a let down. It's been around since 1989, and while OK as a cheap pet-friendly hotel, it's suffering from neglect. While the staff are cheerful enough, I don't think anyone had cleaned the water-level porch of my room in months - it was dirty, cobwebbed and strewn with cigarette butts: not a place where one would go for a romantic getaway. I did luck onto a really nice restaurant just up the road - The Curious Orange. The Northwich town centre is mainly timber-framed, but from Victorian times, not Tudor. I'm curious about the human gargoyle that looked like QEII out talking to her public. August 22: Monday Headed southwest again, past Chester and into Wales: destination Llangollen. Home to both a major Eistedfodd and Balloon Festival (it's a wonder it's not called Lung-ollen), this is where my twice-great grandmother and her family lived at census time in 1861. The census record says Abbey St, but I believe Abbey Rd would be the venue; it's the main bit of road skirting the town centre. It reminded me very much of Dolgellau in its location and the way the town was presented, albeit without the narrow winding streets: this was much more of a grid affair. We turned around and stopped a while in Wrexham, the major market-town for North Wales...and in the few hours I was there, I didn't see much to do there but shop. The famous Monday outdoor markets seemed to consist of maybe a dozen food stalls in a car-park, with a butcher calling cuts of meats like a bingo-game. Final stop for the day was the Lovell Radio Telescope at Jodrell Bank, another place I alluded to in one of my first blog entries for this trip. There's a small visitor centre with a handful of displays, a cafeteria, gift-shop inappropriately selling astrological mugs and a theatrette where you can watch a 10 minute Australian-made 3D film about a trip to Mars. Tourist sites may mention a no-longer-open planetarium. There is alsoan arboretum , but since the entire area is off-limits to dogs, it was too hot to leave Bondi in the car and I gave most of it a miss. This evening's TV highlight: on BBC2 a documentary"Taxidermy: Stuff the World", which has some pretty um unique characters. I'm not sure if the winner of a regional competition - "It's a hollow victory" - appreciated the irony of his remarks. However I'm not sure if i was more disturbed by the woman with the refrigerator full of cervine testicles (which she mounts on plaques), or those who go out and shoot animals to mount...

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


I thought this was funny. : D You Know You're Addicted to Coffee When... You can jump start your car without cables.You answer the door before people knock.You've worn out your third pair of shoes this week.Your eyes stay open even when you sneeze.You can type sixty words per minute -- with your feet.You sleep with your eyes open.You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.You channel surf faster without the remote.You short out motion detectors.You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.The only time you are standing still is during an earthquake!People get dizzy watching you.Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.When someone asks 'How are you?' you say, 'Good to the last drop'.You can outlast the Energizer bunny.You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.You have to watch videos in fast-forward.You ski uphill.

KCC's Space and the Wealth Within!

This entry is mostly an advertisement for KCC's space. It's full of strikingly deep and meaningful quotes that have the uncanny property of expressing ideas and philosophies in only a few words. I especially liked this one: "All of us get lost in the darkness; Dreamers learn to steer by the stars. All of us do time in the gutter; Dreamers turn to look at the cars." It's a good statment that captures the essence of my outlook on life, which is why I'm especially fond of it. So, to everyone interested in such quotes and other meaningful phrases, check out Joe 'KCC' Karam's Space which is listed on my blog list. ~NDL~

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

my mini vacation

well i just got back home from stayimg wit my friend christen. we went to newport aquarium. it was sooo cool. but her bro got on my nerves all the time but they like fight all the way to the place. its kinda funny.

Monday, October 10, 2005

parents evening

hey all today was parent's evening most ppl would say nooooo but was quiet happy acually I got an excellent every tearchers said oh she's well behaived she listen were sooo happy her in our scool p.s. I ain't showing off is true shame who ever got a bad p.s sry if u did

Music and Movies: My Release

Hey Over these last two weeks I have noticed my increase in watching Movies and listening to Music a)when I'm not working and b) not sleeping. I have found the possible conclusion to this: M and M are my release of both anger and depression. Ok so I haven't fully got to the depressed part yet but I am quite upset at the moment due to a family issue. I watch the Kiddies movies especially when I need to smile, you know the whole "Happily Ever After" thing. And I find that Rock music (especially some good Blindspott) makes me wanna bounce up and down thus creating endorphins. (Thanks to for checking my spelling of endorphins!). Even a really good scary movie can help I mean if anything it gives ya exercise from all the jumping! Sure shopping and chocolate are always good but who wants to spend money when you've got a perfectly good Radio to listen to. "Free as the mighty polar bear" - as of the words of the Telecom guy(ya know who im talking about!).Its a kinda strange thing that I have discovered in Movies but as far as Music is considered has always been a way that I have been able to release not just anger but misery aswell. Luv, Flizz

Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Old-As-Hell York Dolls @ 9:30

Rock, pure and simple. Probably the best show I've been to in the last year. The reason: I wasn't expecting a very good show. I've always loved the Dolls' 1972 self-titled album (it has been in my constant rotation since I was 13) and their second (and final) album "Too Much Too Soon", but every time I would buy a live NYDalbum it would blow - hard (the same goes for almost all of the Johnny Thunders live records). I guess having 35 years to practice (andkick the habit/replace dead members)really does wonders for the live show. The set was phenomenal - High Octane for almost 2 hours. Even the girl was wanting encores (sheusually falls into a coma-like-stateafter 10pm). It was great hearing all of those songs that I grew up with being played live - and well. If they come around to your neck of the woods be sure to get out and see 'em. Yes, I realize that this was one of those "Do we have enough money saved to retire?, No? We're proud to announce a reunion tour" shows. One of the shows that you go to because you're afraid that it will be your only chance to see a band who was broken up before you were out of short-pants (or in the girl's case - born). My general rule is that if the lead singer is still alive it's a reunion, if not it's a tribute (see MC5). Well, as I mentioned earlier I thought this show was going to blow (and thank Christ it didn't), but as soon as tix went on sale I was there and bought two. Every time there is a reunion show from a band that I thought I'd never get to see (or see again) I always forced the Girl to come with. " You HAVE to go to this show. It's for your own good. I don't care if you've never heard of them. Here; load this CD into your iPod and memorize the songs. Well, you better LEARN to like them; This is history." She has bared witness to several unlikely "reunion" shows against her will: MC5, Mission of Burma, Skinny Puppy, Pixies, Knitters, X, New York Dolls, etc., and has been very good so far. Let's hope thatpositive attitudelasts through the Devo show this Sunday.

Hey! There is something about me here.

I actually did something right today,gf wise. Lol i made her cry. But it wasn't sad crying. I just figured she wanted to know how i really felt about her...and now i miss her again...Lol i cant stand her not being able to go on the computer. Wow! The 3 people that see this site will be impressed.

Saturday, October 08, 2005


es facil firmar!!!!, no puede ser... entran a la parte de blog, y dice comentario, hacen clic ahi y les va a aparecer una parte blanca, donde van a poder escribir, es solo eso, besos, chauchas (viste ile????, ahora si, el tiempo puede pasar, pero los amigos quedan, no te olvides)

Thursday, October 06, 2005


You know how there are things you never want to hear but then you end up hearing them and you are hurt by what you hear ? Yeah well thats me right now. I dont know if im suppose to beupset or if I should just let it go, but how do you deal with such hurtful things. Im so sad right now... I cant sleep and I dont know what to do ... Im so confused. I think this time Im hurt to bad. I never wanted something like this to happen and why did it take me this long to find out? I dont know either ... Im sad, confused, upset, crying about something I cant change but I want it to go way, but it wont .. its stuck in my head and I dont want to think about it .... I guess Im just too hurt ... I dont know what to do ... theres nothing I can do ... why didnt I know ??? I guess its to late now ....

Wow... what the hell happened? I don't come on here for a month - purposefully avoiding the site because of the "that" person, and what do I find when I come back for a peek? That had referenced my blog in a story about that Tanqueray commercial. Go figure. Maybe if I continue writing I'll end up like Stephanie Klein with a $500K+ book deal. Unfortunately I have a feeling I would have to start telling a bit more of my "personal" life on here, something I don't feel comfortable doing knowing who reads this. Kudos for her having the balls to talk about masturbating in her office bathroom... maybe I'll start an anonymous blog to keep up... I've been pretty bummed lately - work isn't going as well as it should, and the summer is moving way too fast. I'm poor, my highlights are growing out, I'm still recouping from strep throat and my best friend is getting married soon. Also, not to freak anyone out, but my stupid apartment has become a haven for creatures (yeah, I realize I dedicated an entire entry to how much I love animals - while this DOES extend to the friendly little mice that seemed to have moved in, it is NOT extended to the ants, spiders and other gross things). Plus TK has been away 4 out of the past 7 weeks, and I was away for 1 of the 3 weeks that he was here, so I'm feeling a serious lack in boyfriend presence. I tend to get a little batty when I'm not getting the attention (I would say affection, but apparently my mother would assume I mean sex - which, in this case, isn't entirely untrue) I need. On another depressing note, I just finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince . What a downer that was. Not only because the story was upsetting (how could he DIE?? Is he really dead?? Spoilers in the next blog entry, fyi), but because I'm going to once again have to sit on my hands waiting 2+ years for the next (and final) book. I wonder what would happen if I contacted Rowlings and told her I had some incurable disease and would be dead well before the final installment -- and that my only dream before dying was to know the details of the final book. Would she pony up? Something to keep in mind, I guess...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Special Moment in College Writing

So today in College Writing we had a peer edit day and I had to share the quote from this paper with you. The paper was based on Euthanasia and was written by Dave Saul. He was taking to standpoint of being against Euthanasia and the quote is as follows; "What really is the main goal of every person each day? I'd say not to die, no ones acutally thinking about it, but in actuality that would probably be what 'the worst day of my life' would be composed of." (I left in grammatical errors for authenticity. )

Summer Time

Hey Hey This is Heather, Will summer is here and it islittle boring, but it is better than school will i hope that everyone has a great summer this year..... and can't wait to see yall next school year!!!! Heather

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


No workout in the morning. Still trying to rest the knee. Applied ice last night and that seemed to help some. Today is Jacquelyn's last day at Mt Olive. They have really helped shape this girl spiritually and mentally. THanks Mt Olive

Sunday, October 02, 2005


... ...... as usual .............. ....."Baby, ..." ........." ()" ....."........" .........."while i'm super busy, why don't you enjoy the other Hispanic Hon, American Hon,Mexican Hon, Hon Hon Hon....or take all your honsss back to your house" ....()....". how would you like it ,if this guy will cook sth while you enjoy your favorite Apple Martini".....() (.........) ......." ...." ...."........." (...........) ......."...................." ............ standard ..... .. () ..............( Einstein )

Forza vs PGR2 vs GT4

With it being a long weeked I thought I'd rent Microsoft Game Studios' Forza Motorsport and see what all the hype was about, as everywhere I look it seems to get great reviews. I was keen to see how it shaped up against both Project Gotham Racing 2 and Gran Turismo 4, as Forza has been hailed the "GT4 killer"... so how do they compare? Well, for a start Forza is easily the better looking, the damage modelling is a big improvement on the pokey one in PGR2 (hit a barrier lighlty and your bonnet crumples) and GT4's lack of any damage loses it points there. Plus in Forza you can add a huge variety of decals and vinyls, think of it as a cross between NFSU2 and PGR2, adding all sorts of custom kits and paint jobs to any of the cars - something else lacking from GT4. The tracks in all 3 games are nicely rendered and have a good level of detail Sound-wise Forza again scores well, the engine noises and details (turbo winding up etc) are really good, however the music detracts from the experience and I had to turn it off. PGR2's sound is good too and the music is fine, same for GT4 which can lack some realism at times(ie. after tuning)but the VTEC Hondas sound so real it's scary, and the Dodge Charger sitting at idle sends shivers up any petrol-head's spine! As for gameplay - well that's where GT4 comes back, with over 720 cars (Forza has 230+ and PGR2 less) GT4's sheer content is mind-blowing, it has more tracks than the other two as well and I particularly like the 2nd-hand cars (I can drive an Evo 1 again!!) and the photo mode. It also boasts rally driving and novelties like a 1/4 drag strip - neither of the other two offer those features. GT4 also feels more like a simulation than the other two, but Forza comes very close. PGR2 comes across more like an arcade gamebutit's showroom feature is fantastic Personally i prefer GT4 to the other two, but Forza comes a close second. PGR2 is a great game but GT4's content and sheer playability makes it stand out from the rest and Forza's quality and content sets the benchmark for Xbox racers to come For a similar comparison, see GameSpot's Driving Simulator Roundup

Saturday, October 01, 2005


Black and Pink swirled is the best colouring. hahah molly it WOULD WORK!!! Molly we have to leave soon!!! Can't wait to be a FRESH LEMON next year. haha this will be funnay. Well the reunion is still going on. Emily is by me right now she is the 9yo pima (explained later if needed) She is right by me on the computer she is just like WON'T leave me be. she is watchig my brother so i cna type thisbetter finish b4 she sees byepima= pain in my ass